Silent Tears of Fears
by Infinitis
Summary: It is three days till doomsday and the rain has been pouring like cats and dogs for over a week. Tohru becomes nervous for Kyo as Graduation slowly comes closer and closer. Now, is it too late for her to be heard over Kyo's storm? KyoruWaffFluff ehehee
1. Tears of Fears

_**Silent Tears of Fears**_

By Infinitis

Dis: I own a Kyo plushy and a kitten named Kyo and ten of the Fruuba books…nothing else! …I just want Kyo himself! T.T

**When in dreams… Chapter 1**

I had a dream last night…

_Kyo-Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!_

I'm still scared of what it might mean.

_Please talk to me!_

Like in dreams, it was pitch black. It seemed in my saddened heart that his heart was also black.

Like in dreams, I ran. I didn't know why because he looked like he was walking away slowly, as if to his doom. And yet, to keep up with his slow pace, I quickened mine in fear of losing him. Fear, a desperate emotion I would never want to feel again.

His back faced my front and his head hung low. His hands were in his pockets while slacking in a way of laziness. Our figures could be seen through the darkness though there was no light source.

There was something about him, in his walk and in his features, that didn't seem right. I have always known him for his loud ways of expressing himself. Seeing him like this, I could almost feel my tears running down face. He wouldn't be this cut off from talking or looking at me. He was always open to my feelings, why could he tell his own feelings to me? I could read him like an open book, but in that book there would always leave cliff-hangers for me want to know more about him. But I couldn't because there was always something between us I did not know of. It's like a forbidden part of you that would never show the deadliest part of the book.

_Onegai (please)! Don't leave me!_

Why do I have this dream? Are my emotions of dooms-day coming reflecting on my thoughts? Kyo-kun. Kyo, I don't want you to go. I don't want you to be silent. I hope it's not too late to say what I want to say. I want to save you from your curse. You said to me once that I can be selfish sometimes. Well, now's my chance, because I want you. I want to be with Kyo, possibly for my whole life.

In my dream he stops walking and in my dream I run as fast as I can. Something was coming and I had to get to him on time.

_Kyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_

I was at arms length and I could feel his soft and fiery cotton shirt starting to flow through my fingers. My mouth began to smile as I take a breath in content. Then I could feel his shirt moving downwards in a strange yet fast way. My eyes and mind then noticed the abyss under him. When I saw his blank face looking up at me, I knew it was too late. I couldn't move. I couldn't catch him as he fell into his depths of despair. And so I cried seeing him disappear to nothing as if he didn't exist. He didn't even put up a fight.

* * *

"Honda-san?" 

My eyes blink twice to see Yuki-kun's concerned face hovering over my sitting figure just as well as the other people in my class. I must have been day-dreaming. How silly of me. I smile serenely.

"Daijobu desu (I'm ok)." I turn my eyes to the right and met with saddened red-orange orbs… My body feels cold and I shiver. An aftershock of that dream, I guess. A gentile, calloused hand touches my forehead.

"You feel warm…"

I can feel myself blushing. At the sound of his voice, I swear I could melt. B-but, I can't be sick! It's only three days until graduation! Three days till… I hold in my displeasure.

"No really, I'm fine." I giggle, trying to hold back my frightening fears.

Kyo takes off his hand from my forehead and looks at me directly in the eyes.

"Alright, but you worked hard last night at work. So if you get dizzy or feel faint or even trip, go home ok? I'll be watching you, so don't think about…"

Yuki-kun smacks the cat-boy behind his head. Everyone around us chuckles. I smile contently. It feels like things are normal.

"Tohru-kun said she's fine. Go to your seat before class starts."

Kyo grumbles and rubs the back of his head when going to sit.

I wish days like this could be forever.

* * *

In my dreams now, I cry. Not only that, but I don't think I can sleep soundly anymore without remembering that one nightmare. 

I collapsed after his fall and broke down in rivers of tears. I thought I could make it, to reach him. I'm alone in my dreams now. The darkness envelops my hopes there.

Boom! Crackle, crackle, crackle.

Ah! Thunder! My tear-stained hands bring a pillow to my face. I can't help it. Tears start to flow once more from my pitiful face. Why does it still hurt? It was just a nightmare, right? _But it seemed so real._

Boom! "Aieee!" I silently scream and dung my face deeper in my pillows. My ears could hear the rain pounding like angry fists on the roof through my dampened pillow. There seems to be a lot of rain this week. I wonder if God is crying for Kyo-kun. …Ah, wait. Kyo hates rain. But I bet God didn't men it that way. I sigh in mixed emotions and try to stop my tears. I give a silent prayer.

_Please, I don't want Kyo to be locked up._

My ears start to hear something else in the pounding rain. No, it's not from the outside… I wipe my tears off on my sheets and get out of my bed. Its 12:30 at night, I think to myself as I look at the alarm clock.

Boom! There it goes again! It was after the thunder. The noise was louder then before and it seemed more…human? My eyes open in shock. What if…!

I suddenly run to my bedroom door. With haste and a little bit of clumsiness, I open my door. My breathing suddenly becomes erratic and I don't know why. I'm scared to think of what might happen next. I almost trip when scurrying through the hallway. My feet froze beside a certain door. I try to breathe in a steady breath. Slowly, I bring an ear to the door. There is sweet silence. Good, it's not him. My feet then moved lightly away in relief. I should go back to bed. Then, just as I turned to the direction of my room, noises of rustling sheets reach my ear. Groans of pain follow the restlessness of the sleeper behind that particular door. So…it is him. My chest tightens in empathy. I wish he didn't have this curse… If I can't wish it away, maybe someday I'll save him from it.

I walk slowly into Kyo's room then softly close his door from behind me. My eyes could not advert from the sight before me, though I wished it. Kyo's futon is a disaster-area. His blankets are strewn randomly on top of him giving the hint of a troublesome night's sleep. He lays there with his head lulled to one side. His face is contorted with mixed emotions. Beads of nervous sweat adorn his brow. … Oh Kyo-kun. I hold in a tear. Steadily, I walk to the sleeping young man and sit beside him. My fingers unconsciously run through his orangey hair and then I start to rub his aching head. He stirs to wake from the land of dreams. His eyes began to flutter open.

"Kyo, daijobu (are you ok)?"

His tired, half-mast eyes rests on my own. "Tohru, why aren't you sleeping?" His gentle gaze tells me otherwise.

"I couldn't sleep."

"You should try. We have to be in good shape for our finals." He sighs as he knots his eyebrows.

"Kyo…" Why do I worry so much about him? He closes his eyes, not for sleep. "Kyo, are you ok? Is there anything I can do-"

Boom! Boom!

He hisses a breath in. The hand with his white and orange beads makes a fist and goes to his chest as if to protect something. I dare not touch him, like he could break and scatter. "Don't worry about me," he says in a ragged voice. I look at him with concerned eyes.

"I can't help it." I reply with a lopsided smile. His red eyes open and connect with mine again. Within them held something I didn't notice before. His free hand lifts and brushes against my cheek. And with that touch, lightning runs up and down my spine. Kyo then plays with my bed head hair.

"Why can't you sleep?"

I look painfully to the side. "I have bad dreams…"

"I see," Kyo stops playing with my hair. "Nightmares, huh?" I could feel his gaze on my figure. My head lowers trying to hide my seeding tears. "I guess you don't want to talk about it." I shook my head no.

"Gomen Nesai (I'm sorry)." I hear him chuckle. Oh my. I shouldn't have to apologize. I mean it wasn't-.

He sighs contently. "It's not your fault. It's habit for you." My ears hear shifting noises beside me. "It is better then to not say sorry at all, although… I wish you would consider your feelings more often." A familiar hand touches my tear-stained chin to turn it wherever. I become worrisome to see Kyo sitting up beside my figure. I hope he's not using too much of his strength. Then, I notice his expression. He's worried over me too. It's silly, yet not in an idiotic way; almost sweet. Now…now I know how he feels, because I also don't want him to worry about me.

"Wha! What are you crying about?" he frets and wipes my tears away with his thumbs, palms in both of my cheeks. I smile deeply into his beautiful ruby eyes. Our hands touch as I put my own hand over his.

"K-Kyo…I may not be able to sleep, but," I pause for a second. I didn't want this to go the wrong way. The rain from the outside lightens. "May I lie beside you?"

A genuine smile he gives to me, albeit one-sided. He must think of me as a baka (idiot). He leans back to his futon. Our eyes never separate and, I believe, even without a blink. I have yet to get my answer. His hand glides out of my cheek and palm. Now a cold sensation is left, like an empty heart. As Kyo's head reached his pillow his mouth opens to speak.

"Do you really want to do this?" He looks toward the quieting storm.

I nod in a haste reply.

"You would have to lie above my head. I don't want anything to happen even if you are conscious. Shigure or that rat might get bad ideas."

Kyo… He keeps on rambling, but I don't care. I can't help but giggle. He gazes upon me once more.

"Just make yourself comfortable as much as possible, ok?" His look is sincere.

Quickly (with a kink of joy), I stand and gather some extra blankets from his closet. I come back to his bedside without noticing his half surprised half shocked look. I hold up a fist in promise. "Don't worry Kyo! I'll protect you from the mountain bears that try to eat you at night!" I yell in a whisper. My makeshift bed almost fell out of my arms as I finished my speech. I grab them franticly before they reached the ground. When this was happening, Kyo was trying to suppress his laughter. I noticed this walking back to him with a smile, giggling a bit.

"Now, THAT I haven't heard of in a long while."

Just as I finished my bed, I laid myself on my side, fetal position, and close to cradling his head. I can't see what his face looked like from this position, but I wonder if he's still awake.

"Kyo?"

Silence layered with even breathing.

I let out a breath.

Kyo…

Aishiteru

(I love you)

The door is open to a crack. I didn't see or hear a smile and sigh of gratefulness. His amethyst eyes look away and softly shut the door. A graceful hand runs through grey-silver hair.

"Alas, I can finally sleep without any restlessness tonight."

I did sleep that night, with my surprise. I dreamed of myself as a youth with Kyo leading me to a secret place where Yuki and the Juunshi were waiting for us to play. We were invited! It felt like being picked in the Fruits Basket game!

* * *

(AN) IT'S NOT OVER YET! Well, I'll need to have inspiration in order to finish. I have to feed my muses (sigh) and that is what they feast upon, your reviews! I hope I'll complete this story within a couple of chapters. Ja mata ne (see ya lata)! …I hope. 


	2. Remembering Doomsday

_**Silent Tears of Fears**_

By Infinitis

Dis: ehhhh, ok here's the line up (takes deep breath) I have a Kyo plushy, a kitty named Kyo-kun, a Kyo keychain (with Tohru), a children's book about the zodiac animal race (OMG the cat was a girl o.0…transsexual?), and twelve fruits basket books…see? I am an otaku, not an owner of this series…although…I WANT KYO! (Gets sacked from annoyed readers)

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Ch. 2 Remembering Doomsday

Yesterday, I saw her face…

_Kyo-kun_

…blank and speechless.

Our class was done with our graduation ceremony and I noticed when she took off her attire she still had her school uniform on, poor girl. At that time, I felt a foreboding aura in the air. She smiled though, but I could see a mask hiding a worried face. We talked a bit, well; it was her who did all the talking. I could tell by her voice that she was trying to help my uncertainty, my future. Right in the middle of her sentence about new housekeeping stores and job interviews, we heard a voice piercing our ears.

_Come along, Kyo, don't waste my time._

My time…with her was up. I saw him turn back with Kureno by his side. When my eyes turned back, her face was hidden from me with her hands on her face.

She knew.

At that thought, it hurt me even more. I clenched my hand and released it, calming my bitter anger. She knew that she'll never see me again. I'll never see her again… I grabbed her hands and whispered her name. Her head lifts up, tears in her eyes.

_Sayonara_

I kissed her cheek and let go of her hands very, very slowly as if in a dream…no nightmare. Her face was blank and speechless.

_What a tragedy_

The moon shines bright in my prison, but it does not give me hope. All that I have brought with me was the memories I shared with her…and it hurt that I couldn't have more. I'm the one who's selfish, I chuckle. "I hope Akito can be merciful give me poison for food. I'd rather die now then live a thousand years without"-

"I would doubt the mercifulness of our Master, but I don't think Tohru is going to like your physical absence."

I turn to find a face dimmed by the waning moonlight. His purple gaze is strangely without hate, and without admiration. I glared at his presence.

"Yuki…don't talk about her like that she's better off…"

I could find the rest of the words. The rat sighs, "You say she would be better off without you? Are you sure? You know, you're too egocentric, thinking always of yourself and not others."

"But"—but Tohru!

"You think she's better off now? Why don't you think of her at this position! She's been like a zombie ever since you left!"

Why?

Yuki exasperates and moves his head to the side, holding one of the edges of my small window. "Baka neko…," he mutters under his breath. I…no longer have the strength to argue. My laughs echo in my little room. The unwelcome guest looks at me as if I'm insane, which I probably am right now. Yes…

"Baka neko…baka neko…"

Yuki's hand grabs my shirt collar, our faces are inches apart. I have no strength to fight it.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you fighting back?"

No hope…no hope in this forsaken place.

"Because…" I didn't want to stomp on anything anymore nor make any other lives miserable, especially not Tohru's. "I'm the CAT, that's why. I'm doomed here!" If I was out there, I would be a monster…this is my punishment for being BORN!

The rat pushes me away and I land on the floor. He doesn't know…the real reason I fought with him.

Yuki stands, his mouth open with an insult aiming to cut into me. My ears are ready to be blocked off by the high-and-mighty remarks.

"Yuki…Yuki-kun…?" A quiet voice muffles beyond my house wall. It is a voice I rarely heard before. I see though my pathetic window the face of the rat, his expressions turning into something I haven't seen in him before…a grayish-brunet head walks towards Yuki.

"Ma-Machi…what the heck are you doing here?" He bends his head down to talk with this girl…the former student council treasurer. I decide to sneak back to my window, wanting to see this different side of the haughty rat.

"Baka ne!" There's a whip in the air and I wince in the pain of the sound. Oh dear rat, what have you got yourself into? "You think I can't go with you, be with you, after all we've been through?" she roughly whispers.

"Machi!"

"I told you I could handle it! We would meet ever night and talk to each other till the dawn comes up." She was once a quiet girl, very unsociable. Yuki puts his hands on her arms, hoping she wouldn't do anything foolish; like waking Akito.

"Machi, calm down."

"Calm? I c-can't be calm…not…not without you! Why? Why do you have to stay in this place when you don't even want to?"

"I can't say no!" He replies, angrily I might add. I would.

"Why…" she breathes, her tough, new front breaks down as she succumbs to tears. I guess…he must have told her about his situation before graduation night. He wasn't home so I would suspect, but he never came back to the house either if I can remember correctly.

"It's the curse." His bland voice speaks as if not his own.

"It's our 'bond' to the damn thing." I say unconsciously, meaning for only my presence. The girl, I notice, peeks into my shabby room to see my hunched figure in the shadows. Her eyes grow with questions wanting to be answered.

"Is that, Kyo-kun?" She pulls back from the window. "Why is Kyo here, I thought…"

"There's more to the curse," Yuki tries to explain our situation though I don't approve that another outsider is learning our curse…why did that rat had to fall in love?

Why did I fall in love?

I put a calloused hand to my face, scratching my cheek with my low cut nails, digging as deep as they could into my flesh. I hear the couple talk outside. Machi questions while Yuki explains, repeating the same lines over and over again that were told to us when we were children. A sick, empty feeling fills my gut and I slip from my sitting place in the shadows, falling to the hard ground with a lifeless thud. No strength. No hope. Go away. Leave me alone! I curl into myself.

"But isn't Tohru in love with Kyo?"

The words ring in my ears, buzz through. I was happy at the first second but then, I felt a dread filling up in my heart. Machi's words repeat over and over in my head.

_Isn't_

Stop!

_Tohru_

Please don't say it!

_In_

Go away, go away!

I slap my hands over my ears to lessen the pain only to figure out that it made the words in my head worse.

_Love_

Kami-sama!

_With_

Visions of a girl come rushing in my head who laughs, cries, talks, shouts, worries, runs, jumps…and smiles. My breaths become sparse and sweat drips down my brow. What did I do? Is she really? She can't! Not with me! But if she is- Curse her! Curse this damned curse! Curse the Sohmas and curse the day I was born! Why couldn't I live a normal life? My eyes move side to side, up down, looking for a way to run. But there's no running away in here. No going back to the way things were…

_Kyo_

"Damn it!" I lift myself up without thinking. I never wanted her to be apart of this atrocity. My hands grab blindly onto something hard and lift it in the air. Right when I smashed it into a wall, another voice calls out from the dark, a voice I dreaded and longed for. At the last second, I felt myself being bombarded with needles pricing my skin. My vision blurs from the stress and insanity in my head, but also the enveloping pain all over my body.

"Kyo-kun!"

_Too late…to turn…back…_

_And see her face._

Darkness.

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

T

B

C

AN/ sorry it took so long, thank you for all your reviews! And my muse has a full stomach now thanks to you. (Bow) I'm sorry that I left you all at a cliff hanger (although this dose seem clichéd…wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't Tohru who called?)

_Another voice calls out from the dark…_

"_Kyo-kun!"_

"_What the? Ayame, what the friggen heck are you doing here! This is supposed to be a kyoru fic, not a yaoi!"_

_(Ayame hugs kyo) "Oh come on, I know you want me…"(says in husky voice)_

"_Curse you Infinitisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"_

_Don't you have any other cursing sayings? Sheesh. Don't blame me! Blame my muse! (I run for the hills as a little muse gets left behind in Kyo's wrath. Ayame hangs on his neck, trying to steal a kiss.)_

"_Eh, hi?"_

"_I'm going to get you, you pixie!"_

_(Muse screams like a freaked-out-horror-movie-chick)_

…

(Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) Ah! Eh, there I go. Excuse my slap-happy insanity (sweat drop) 'Tis but 2 in the morn' and I haven't had a bit of shut eye, no sir.

Bye…and review for my muse's sake (sorry little buddy)!


End file.
